Farewell Talk

Good morning brothers and sisters, 

I am really excited to speak to you guys today for those of you who don't know I have been called  to serve in the Argentina Salta mission and I leave for the CCM on Tuesday for my last four weeks of  training. I am really nervous but super excited. 

I had a really difficult time with this talk. I'm not kidding. I've known since March that I was  speaking today and yet I wrote my talk yesterday. The reason I had such a hard time was because I would start writing a talk and get about a paragraph in and realized it was all wrong and I would delete it and start over. I went through this process about 5 times until Friday night when I felt pretty good about what I am going to speak to you today. 

The topic of my talk is on the general conference talk "just keep going-with faith" given by Carl B. Cook. I really like this talk because it talks a lot about looking to God in times of hardship and the fact that we can overcome discouragement when we look to Christ in faith. Because I for one have a hard time looking to God and seeing the blessings of those challenges that come with life. One thing that really stuck out to me in this talk is the fact that he focused on the everyday discouragement and the ups and downs that come with life because a lot of the time I feel guilty feeling upset or discouraged because there's someone out their with a harder trial than me so I downplay my feelings but this is a good reminder that it's ok to feel discouraged and upset because that's how life is supposed to be. It's not supposed to be easy all the time. 

He also talks alot about putting your faith and trust in the Lord a quote that really touched me is: Regardless of the size, scope, and seriousness of the challenges we face in life, we all have times when we feel like stopping, leaving, escaping, or possibly giving up. But exercising faith in our Savior, Jesus Christ, helps us overcome discouragement no matter what obstacles we encounter. Just as the Savior finished the work He was given to do, He has the power to help us finish the work we have been given. We can be blessed to move forward along the covenant path, no matter how rocky it becomes, and eventually receive eternal life. 

I really liked this quote because during these last two weeks at the home MTC I've felt very discouraged about my Spanish and after the first day I was ready to quit I was really frustrated and I remember asking myself" why did I think I could do this" " There's no way I can learn spanish” and I realized that I could not do this alone learning a new language is hard but it can be easier when you trust that the Lord will help you. My teachers would talk a lot to us about putting all our trust in the lord because they constantly remind us that a mission is not an easy thing and put learning a new language on top of that it can be one of the hardest but most rewarding things a person can do. Trust me when I say it takes a lot of faith to learn a new language because I sit in my afternoon class which is all in Spanish by the way and just think of all the ways my life would've been so much simpler if I had chosen not to click that stupid button in my mission papers. But they were right when they said the lord blesses his missionaries and although my spanish is SOOO bad I can see the little tiny bits of improvement when I trust in the lord to help me. 

We all face challenges but the lord has promised that " He that seeketh me early shall find me and shall not be forsaken” Doctrine and Covenants 88:83 and that “ whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day” Alma 36:3. Understanding these promises helps us bear our adversities with patience, “with a firm hope" that we will one day overcome them. 

In his talk Elder Cook tells the story from the Book of Mormon about Zoram and when he was faced with the choice to follow Nephi and his brothers into the wilderness. Although Zoram was scared and unsure he had the courage to go with them. Elder Cook states that “Zoram suffered many afflictions in his new life, yet he pressed forward with faith. We have no indication that Zoram clung to his past or harbored resentment toward God or others. He was a true friend to Nephi, a prophet, and he and his seed dwelt in freedom and prosperity in the promised land. What had been a huge obstacle in Zoram's path eventually led to rich blessings, due to his faithfulness and willingness to just keep going—with faith.” 

I like to think that I relate to this story and to Zoram himself in the way that like him I was faced with a really difficult decision back in the end February and the beginning March because during this time I had a really hard time seeing the path that the lord wanted me to go on. I was really confused about my mission and if I was even supposed to go on it and I was just really frustrated because I felt that God had left me alone to go through it and I was just so overwhelmed, I wanted to hide from the world and not  deal with it. I was so lost and I didn't know what to do. I finally ended up calling my parents and telling them that I didn't know if I was supposed to go on my mission and I was thinking of pulling my call I just really wanted to know what to do and I was hoping that by talking to them I would get an answer they said the obvious things like “have you prayed, try reading the scriptures” but something both of them said to me really hit me because my mom reminded me of all the promoting and the revelation I had received while doing my papers and my dad reminded me that there was a reason I was called to this particular mission. Although I was comforted by their words I still was just as confused as ever. No matter how hard I tried I wasn't getting answers I wanted. I ended up going to the temple with the determination of not leaving until I had a direct answer. I am sorry to say that I left the temple not with an answer but with more trust in the lord. While in the temple I sat in the celestial room with tears in my eyes pleading to God to give me a direct answer. I knew deep down that I wasn't going to get it and the feeling to just trust in the lord overcame me. I sat there physically resisting the urge to trust in him. I didn't know if it was because I was scared but whatever it was I couldn't do it. I couldn't trust him. I was ashamed that I couldn't trust him but it was hard. I felt as though the spirit was pulling at me and it was as though the Lord was asking me a simple question “Why won't you have faith and just trust me?” I wanted to have the faith I really did but I wanted an answer to my original question and I felt God telling me he couldn't give me that answer because that's not what I needed. What I needed wasn't a yes or no. I needed to know that I wasn't alone and that if I had faith and trusted in the lord I would be just fine and everything would work out. I would love to say that this story ended that night while walking home and calling my mom that I was going to continue with my mission and even though I still didn't know if it was something I needed I had faith that it would work out. 

But this story continues to this very day where every morning I wake up and decide whether or not to trust. I wish I was certain about my mission but that's not the reason for this constant daily lesson. 

I know that we all face challenges and that some are hard and seem like they may never end. But I know that when we look to the lord with faith he will help us overcome them and will not leave us. It may seem like he isn't there but sometimes he lets us struggle just enough so that we learn and grow from our experiences. 

I would like to leave you with my testimony that I know for a fact that God loves each and everyone of his children and he never leaves us. He is always there to help us when we ask. I know that because he loved us he sent his son to die and suffer for our sins that through him we can repent and be saved. I love this gospel so much and I can personally attest to the happiness it brings because I have seen the happiness and blessings to my life. I know that although paths in life may never seem clear, with the Lord's help he will guide us to what we need to do and experience. I am so excited for my mission and I know there's a reason for me to be in Argentina. You guys have all impacted my life in so many ways and I love you all. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.